By Piper C. Reason

Learning to Change

Although I don't consider them "New Year's Resolutions" (sounds too, um … serious!), I do look forward to every new year as an opportunity for a fresh start. A time to make some changes in my daily routine, in my job, or in my self. Sometimes they're things I can hardly wait to start on, and sometimes they're things that I've been meaning to do, but just haven't quite gotten around to.

I used to really beat myself up about those things that I didn't get to, but one of the many blessings of growing older is accepting the fact that making really important change is scary – and it takes time. Besides, getting anxious and frustrated doesn't help make change happen more quickly. In fact, it usually has the opposite effect. So I'm striving instead to focus on making use of strategies that really help me make the changes I desire (many of which come from my friend, the Queen of Possibilities).

1. Acknowledge your feelings, whatever they may be: "I'm a little scared to change jobs," or "I feel too old to start over again," or "Looking for a new job is too hard." You might want to do a reality check, but mostly, just notice the feelings that may be blocking you from moving in the direction you want to go in. Limiting beliefs, uncertainty, and FEAR can have much more to do with keeping us from moving forward than a poor job market.
2. Identify what you want. This immediately shifts your energy from harping on the negative to focusing on the positive. We cannot hold a negative and a positive thought at the same time, and positive thinking is empowering and effective. As Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
3. Describe your vision – the more clear you are about your vision, the easier it will be to know how to reach it. Imagine where you will be and what you will be doing once you have achieved your vision. It's pretty tough to chart your course, or to get back on course, if you're not really clear about your destination.
4. Ask for help. Maybe you don't have the whole picture – you're not sure exactly what you want – but you know pieces of it. Focus on those. Meanwhile, remember that nobody has all of the answers (although only a few of us are willing to admit it!). Be honest with yourself, be open to feedback, and continue painting your picture until you know it is complete.
5. Focus on the journey, not the destination. This can really help keep you from getting overwhelmed by the distance you have to travel. Who knows how many miles (or years) it will take you to reach your destination? By focusing on one day at a time, one step at a time, one accomplishment at a time, you will find the trip itself was worthwhile.
6. Prepare yourself. If you have ever tried to change anything before, you know it's going to be challenging, stressful, frustrating and sometimes downright overwhelming. Change never follows the pattern we set out for ourselves. If you have been thinking of making any changes in 2007, you might want to give one or more of these techniques a try:
   • Visualizing ~ Spend just a couple of minutes at bedtime picturing yourself presenting your ideas in the board meeting, or talking with your coworker without losing your temper or …
   • Sharing ~ If the people with whom you are close know about your desire to make a change, they can be more tolerant when you get grouchy. They should be supportive (i.e., encouraging, cheerleading). If not, consider making new friends!
   • Affirmations ~ I am confident in my ability to … or I know I can …
   • Journaling ~ Keep a small notebook with you and when you feel inspired – or troubled – take a minute to jot it down. It will help you keep it off your mind and turning into a hamster wheel.
   • Mentor ~ Find a person who is already successful at what you want to do and ask that person to help you in achieving your goal.

Remember that change takes time, but since it's going to happen anyway, why not make them be the changes you want?

Additional Resources

Please consider visiting your local library or a Toadstool Bookshop location near you for these titles.